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If you convey information, preferences and feelings, you might be interesting, passionate or even confident, but you’re not sexy.

Think of the guy who’s able to befriend every woman he meets, but struggles to generate that spark of attraction we all crave.

showing of Frozen to the showing of 12 Years A Slave. You don't even consider showering or shaving beforehand.

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announcements Art Ask Redditaskscienceawwblogbookscreepydataisbeautiful DIYDocumentaries Earth Pornexplainlikeimfivefoodfunny Futurologygadgetsgaming Get Motivatedgifshistory IAm AInternet Is Beautiful Jokes Life Pro Tipslistentothismildlyinterestingmovies Musicnewsnosleepnottheonion Old School Coolpersonalfinancephilosophyphotoshopbattlespicsscience Showerthoughtsspacesportstelevisiontifutodayilearned Two XChromosomes Uplifting Newsvideosworldnews Writing Promptsedit subscriptions So yesterday I [26] was engaged to a girl [25] I had never met before.

It was arranged by our parents(pretty common in India.

This is what I discovered as a customer service rep at JDate in 2001, and it’s the very thing in which I coach private clients every day: writing a unique, confident, specific, self-aware, witty profile that attracts more men and higher quality men; coming up with a one-of-a-kind username that instantly brands you and demands recognition, filtering through the wrong men, funneling the right men from email to the phone to the real life date, keeping a healthy attitude about guys and maintaining an open mind about why they do what they do. In fact, 90% of guys I would never even consider dating.

It’s a lot of stuff, but it’s finite and it can be conquered. Which means that I can’t get upset when I don’t like 90% of the emails I receive.

and you have this pang of desire that you were part of something like that.

You consistently suggest movie dates so that you don't have to make conversation.” How am I supposed to take these emails that I’m getting? Thru events from LA Weekly, thu email lists like Thrillist, thru random happenstance at the gym, at Ralphs, on Sunset Blvd, at the UCB Theater, thru Meetup.com, thru friends’ house parties, thru work friends, and business networking, thru set ups, thru matchmakers, thru singles organizations, church or temple. But because “real life” doesn’t always provide enough opportunity on a week by week basis.I find them so mass-market, like I bet they copied and pasted and sent to 30 girls without reading about me at all. And yet, despite all of those options for young people here in LA, it’s tough. And unless you get lucky at the Grilled Cheese Invitational or First Fridays on Abbot Kinney, it’s very easy to live in a huge city and never meet any men. Your ad is live for 24 hours a day for men to approach you, and if you log on for 20-30 minutes each day to reply and reach out to one new guy, your social life will instantly pop.I do think that the more you actively date the more tedious it becomes.Then I go through this cycle of, 'OMG, I'm getting older.. I like who I am, what I do and everything that comes with it.I should put myself out there now and at least try'. Having someone to share it with would be fantastic but if that never happens it doesn't change the fact that I'm pretty darned happy with my life.

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